Monthly Archives: June 2012

Treehouse Romances

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Treehouse RomancesWorld’s Largest Treehouse

Did you know that the World’s largest treehouse is in Crossville, TN. Horace Burgess’s treehouse may be as close to heaven as a body can get in Cumberland County. It rises 97 feet into the sky, the support provided by a live, 80-foot-tall white oak 12 feet in diameter at its base. Six other trees brace the tower-like fortress, but Burgess says its foundation is in God. I built it for everybody. It’s God’s treehouse. He keeps watch over it,” said Burgess, who received his inspiration in a vision that came to him in 1993.

“I was praying one day, and the Lord said, ‘If you build me a treehouse, I’ll see you never run out of material.”

So what does a treehouse have to do with dating? Remember the treehouse in Swiss Family Robinson and the romance between the two teenagers? The whole adventure on a deserted island romantisized everything. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in a treehouse with your own built in Tarzan? Don’t we all? But let’s face it, the twenty first century Tarzans of the concrete jungle no longer run around in a loin cloth, rather a business suit or at least Dockers and a dress shirt. Ok, in some cases, jeans and tee shirt. And our treehouse mansions of today take way to many trees to build, i.e. global warming; not to mention the impending safety hazards a real treehouse that sits several feet off the ground would present once the children come along. Sorry, my practical side just kicked into overdrive here.

At my front porch, a barn swallow built a nest and has now raised at least two different families. However, this past week I walked out my front door only to find two tiny bird bodies lying in a hundled mass flat as pancakes on the concrete porch. Their fully formed bodies had wings with only a few feathers. I surmised they must have tried to venture out of the nest on their own without Mama bird’s careful supervision, very sad indeed. Yet, a few days later I noticed the mother bird flying in a patterned like formation and realized she was actually giving flight lessons to her remaining babies who were dutifully perched along the edge of the nest observing her. How sad it was to see the demise of her other baby birds because they were not willing to wait.

I couldn’t help but think of how God prompts us by the Holy Spirit as to when we should move forward in His perfect will and timing. But if we are not willing to wait for Him, then we may face difficulty and possibly deadly circumstances ahead, just like those baby birds. Before joining that dating service website, answering a personal ad in the newspaper, or starting up a friendly chat with a stranger on Facebook, stop and think. Have you prayed about this and asked God what He would have to do. Are you willing to wait for God’s timing before venturing off on your own in pursuit of Mr. Right? In my book, “Date, Pray, Wait,” I share about the Esther Effect and how God’s timing makes all the difference. Order your copy today at Amazon.com.

For more about the world’s largest treehouse, watch this video: http://youtu.be/adXuQi0ewH4

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First Date Disasters

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Click on the link below to watch a funny video.

First Date Disasters

Have you ever had a first date disaster? I’m sure everyone of us has at one time or another. My guess is, it never works out for a second date disaster either. But there are exceptions. One of my first date disasters involved a guy I was very attracted to and worked with at a bank in a different department than me. We saw each other a daily basis and my imagination went wild whenever I saw his smile. My hormones did too. A mutual friend set us up to share break time together and in the process a lunch date was planned. I think he took me to McDonald’s. Okay, not so high class, but it was lunch and we only had so much time.

When we sat down to eat, he reached into his pocket and pulled out cigarette. I hate smoking, but he did ask my permission and I didn’t want to come across prudish. This was several years ago before all the big hullabaloo about how secondhand smoke can cause cancer too. I could tell he was nervous, his hands were shaky. It seemed odd to watch him light the cigarette and then something very unexpected happened. As he held the matchbook in one hand and a lit match in the other, flames ignited in front of his face. He waved his hand vigorously in an attempt to put out the fire. Once the flames subsided, we both coughed from the smoke.

“What happened,” I asked.

“I don’t know. Somehow the matchbook caught fire,” he explained, his face blood red with embarrassment.

As our lunch progressed, I realized he was trying to come across as a more mature man, rather than the boy he actually was at the time. Needless to say, our lunch date was short and sweet with no repeat performances or a second date.

What I learned from that experience was that just because a guy is really cute, it doesn’t mean he’s ready for any kind of real relationship. Granted, I was only about twenty years old then, but I really wanted a steady boyfriend. I had conjured things up in my mind about this guy that simply were not true and certainly not anything he could have remotely lived up to either. It’s hard to see things realistically when you’re going gaga over someone. In that respect, I was the immature one. When yearning for a loving relationship, God sometimes brings about our circumstances to help teach us that we’re not really ready for that sort of thing yet. It’s best to stick with Jesus as my first soul mate and trust Him to bring my husband into my life at the right time when I am ready.  Looking back, that was a really funny moment and one I obviously haven’t forgotten.

Please share your thoughts with me in the comments section. How do you keep trusting God for the love you need in your life?

Don’t forget to check out my new book “Date, Pray, Wait” available on Amazon.com, your local bookstores, and my author website at http://londahayden.com.

Why Do Gay Guys Date Women?

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When I was dating, I had at least three guys in a row confess to me that they actually preferred men over women. Now this was after we had gone on several dates, and I was beginning to think things might be getting a little more serious. After the moment of true confession, I was disappointed to say the least. But more than that, I was heartbroken to lose what I thought was going to be a lasting friendship. This brought up two questions in my mind. First, what took this guy so long to confess the truth to me?  Second, why did he even bother to date women in first place?

The answer to the second question became obvious eventually. If these guys consider themselves to be Christian–which many of them do attend church by the way–then they feel they must hide their true sexual origination by dating women. The first question is equally apparent in that since I met these guys in church or a Christian setting of some sort, of course, they had to present themselves as heterosexual men. And to be honest, in that kind of setting, my ‘Gaydar’ was set to off most of the time. Gay guys are among the most sensitive and kind people I know and this is why dating them is very appealing and usually a wonderful experience. They know how to have fun in a good way and they are great communicators, which makes it even harder for Christian women to pick up any obvious signs or signals. It is sad when such a blooming friendship must end, but we both know at that point the relationship just can’t continue to grow, in the way she had hoped anyway. The woman feels deceived and basically was lied to by this man. She feels she was lured into this relationship and used to help cover up his preferred lifestyle.

Let’s be honest here, we all know what the Bible calls it. Sin! But in today’s world that word has become taboo. Folks, it’s just good old fashioned sin, nothing more and nothing less, and we all do it. We are all guilty of it, we are condemned to death because of it, and we all need salvation from it.

This doesn’t mean the homosexual man or woman is any worse than the rest of us. Nor does it give us liberty to sin against them by ridiculing or persecuting them for their sexual preferences.

I am totally against bullying of any kind and would never condone such behavior. Everyone deserves to be loved. We just need that love to come from the right source – God.

After getting to the point of almost falling in love with this person, the woman is usually left devastated and hesitant to go back into the shark invested waters of dating. And how can one blame her? This is a scary world we live in today. Of course, the other side of this coin is when guys date lesbian girls unsuspectingly. Though you rarely hear about this since most guys are less likely to talk about it. This type of deception is a two-edged sword that cuts both ways. And my guess is, the homosexual party feels guilty to a certain extent and wishes they’d never gone that far with the relationship as well. In many cases, it’s not so much a lack of knowing but rather a lack of maturity to accept the obvious.

Many religions are now recognizing the fact that homosexual people are very present in the church today. However, it might be more advantageous to ‘the church’ as a whole to be more understanding of  gay people and encourage them to be themselves. This might at least minimize the damage done to the well-meaning straight Christian girls and guys who are dating.

What about you? Have you experienced the disappointment of finding out that the person you were dating was actually gay? How did it make you feel? How did you handle it?

Stay True-2-You,

Londa Hayden

P.S. If you haven’t already, check out my book “Date, Pray, Wait” for more great stories and dating tips. Order a signed copy directly from the author’s site at http://londahayden.com at a discount.

Someday My Prince Will Come … Really?

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Dating is tricky anyway, but adding personal convictions and a strong belief system into the equation makes it even trickier. Being a Christian woman in today’s world is tough. It was hard when I was dating 25 years ago. The standards then were just as low as they are today. Yet, God’s standards call us to live by a higher morality. Our ways are not always God’s ways either. We all want to fit in and do what everyone else is doing, right? Going the opposite direction often leaves us without a lot of companionship or many friends. Nevertheless, for the Christian woman, there are still many options available that can help to remedy the situation.

I was always active in my youth group at church. After I graduated high school, I entered the world of young adulthood and singleness. If it wasn’t for church young adult programs, there literally would not have been a place for a Christian young woman to hang out and make like-minded friends. I really came to depend on these types of programs which are often available in the larger churches. It’s hard being the new girl on the block and just walking into such places cold turkey. But I did it, and I’m none the wear for it. I made great friends and learned the value of networking among multi-denominational Christians.  Remaining open-minded even within your own basic religious belief structure and church organization is important; especially when seeking out Mr. Right.

And yes, it is perfectly fine to attend young adult programs at different churches for the specific purpose of meeting potential dating beaus. In fact, I give you my permission if that is what you are needing. I did it for years. After all, how are you going to know if you never try? How will you ever get asked out, if you never put yourself in the appropriate settings?  After dating all kinds of guys – Christian and non-Christian – for several years, meeting them randomly in good and bad settings, nightclubs included, I finally decided I was looking for love in all the wrong places. So I created an action plan to find the man of my dreams in the kind of place I would expect to find him; the kind of places I saw myself  attending if  I were married. These were places I was accustomed to and desired to visit. I figured if I couldn’t find him there, then how was I to know he went to church at all or was serious about his own Christian faith? This is definitely something to consider before dating anyone. I’ve added a poll to this blog just to see what you think. Please answer it below and leave a comment explaining your answer.

Thanks,

Londa Hayden

P.S. For more strategies and dating tips for Christians, pick up your copy of Date, Pray, Wait. Available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and e-book formats.