When preparing to go out with someone on a first time date, there are a few rules to be considered.
What rules apply here?
1. Go someplace public, yet private enough to have a conversation.
2. Dress appropriately, not seductively.
3. Talk on general topics only. It is not time to get too personal just yet.
4. Don’t do all the talking. Make sure to listen and give equal time in sharing with each other.
5. Respect the other person’s point of view on a matter even if they don’t agree, yet share your difference of opinion in a cordial and non-intimidating manner.
These are just a few important factors to consider when going on a first date. As time progresses and you decide to continue dating someone, then it’s time to set some safety zones in place. Be sure to do this in a non-threatening way and handle it with care. You don’t want to come across as a mother hen or a teacher. You are an equal, who only wants to set healthy boundaries at the get-go in order to prevent hurtful situations from occurring. When handled correctly, this step can make a huge difference in the quality of the relationship during the developmental stages.
How does one approach setting boundaries?
1. Sharing your personal faith in Jesus Christ is very important at this point. However, you don’t want to force your beliefs on anyone. If this is a second date, you may have covered this introductory element during your first date. Assuming you are both Christians, this should easily lead into the various levels of integrity integrated into whatever Christian belief you happen to follow according to codes of conduct and Christian morals.
2. If you are still at the point of just having fun together, then no rush. Even so, you want to share this important part of your life as soon as possible in order to protect yourself from getting too caught up in an infatuation with the other individual. Otherwise, you may suffer a sudden deflation and disappointment once your personal beliefs are disclosed.
3. Equally important, is to inquire about any sexual orientation issues both past and present. It is not fair to either party to carry on as if you are interested in a lifetime partnership when you know or suspect otherwise. Do not allow yourself to be blindsided on this one; you could end up devastated. Also, certain health issues may arise that could threaten your own personal well being and future.
4. Don’t look at a date as a possible future business transaction, while trying to make a sales pitch to close the deal. Treat each other as human beings and remember each of you has feelings; be tender and kind to one another through this sensitive time of discovery.
Once you’ve reached this stage of understanding one another and have decided you are compatible with each other’s beliefs, morals, and other important issues, then you can move forward in the relationship with healthy boundaries in place. And vice-versa, if you have talked things through to this point of discovering that each of your ideals and morals are not equal, then you can cordially bow out of the relationship without being rude or mean to one another. In fact, you should still be able to remain friends even if on a more shallow level. That’s okay. That’s the whole purpose of dating anyway. Once you have gotten this infatuated image of this person out of your system as you see he or she doesn’t line up with your standards, you can let them go and move on with your life. There is no emotional baggage to carry over into another relationship.