Monthly Archives: November 2012

Taking it to the next level???


When God gives us so much, is it right for us to expect more?

Let’s say you are finally in a long awaited relationship you’ve always dreamed of, and the time has come for both of you to take it to the next level. What does that next level really mean?

In today’s terms, it usually involves more than just second base. In fact, many young people accept the expectation of sexual activity to be a given once a relationship has reached a certain stage. However, the Bible instructs us not to conform to the ways of this world. Premarital sex should never be a pre-requisite for marital consideration. I can hear many of you laughing at this suggestion. But before you poo poo chivalry away completely, please keep in mind, I am not the one who made these rules. These are actually God’s commands to Christians. And as a Christian, you should be more than willing to follow His will over that of your own or the one you are dating.

This requires the willingness to take a risk at loosing what you thought was true love. But if this person you have grown so fond of does not respect your values, then who is he/she to tell you otherwise? In fact, you should question weather or not they have a genuine relationship with Christ at all.

So what should taking it to the next level really look like for a Christian?

A simple verbal commitment to date me exclusively was all I needed to confirm he really cared for me. It let me know he was seriously considering a future with me as his wife. Anything less than that was a total waste of my time and his, and I did not hesitate to let him know this. If he wasn’t seriously looking for a wife, then forget it. I was not going to be his booty call or a one night stand. I was not going to lower my standards only to be referred to as a good hook up either. Once that one piece of commitment was made clear, I was not afraid to open up to him at all. And a kiss or two was enjoyed as well.

Limitations are good.

Waiting to give yourself freely to the love of your life without guilt or hesitation is worth a little sacrifice in the beginning. Keeping healthy boundaries all the way through the process will only serve to enhance the experience and make the relationship more meaningful in the long run.

Remember who you are…

You are a joint heir with Christ and a child of God. You are worth the wait. Remember, the man you marry should love you even as Christ loved the church. This means, he should love you enough to be willing to die for you. I know that sounds radical, but that’s exactly the way God intended for a man to love his wife and vise-versa. A woman should love her husband enough to be willing to wait and give herself to him at the appointed time and season which God has already planned for you. Hold true to yourself and your beliefs and never feel you must compromise them one bit in order to get a guy to marry you.

To learn more about how to get a guy to marry you without sleeping with him first, pick up a copy of  “Date, Pray, Wait,” available on this site, in bookstores, online at and in ebook format.