Tag Archives: Dating

Get Your Game On

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Hopefully you’ve purged yourself of any unwise actions you’ve been doing with your hands which has held you back from being a wise person. In my previous post, I mentioned how the Bible speaks of an unwise woman (person). How with your hands you either build yourself up or tear yourself down. There are so many things we do with our hands. In fact, we do almost everything with our hands. We put on cosmetics and wash our faces. We swipe our debits and credit cards for various purchases. We write emails and text messages to our friends, families, business associates, and sometimes enemies. We pay our bills online or snail mail. We punch in phone numbers on our phones or computers to communicate. We update our social networks through Facebook and Twitter. Are we careful with our words? Or do we simply post random thoughts, not taking into account who might stumble upon them and who might be offended or encouraged by them? With our hands we reach out to give or accept a comforting hug. With our hands we cook and bake to feed our families and entertain friends. With our hands we caress our babies, bath them, and play with them. With our hands we give loving or mean and unkind gestures. We can hit, punch, or knock down someone. We can pull a trigger, shoot an arrow, With our hands we choose which items to buy at the grocery stores. With our hands we smoke and drink, we take drugs, either prescribed or for recreation. With our hands we drive careful or reckless. We take notes and written exams. We help our aging parents to their feet or into their beds. When you think about it, there really isn’t much we don’t do without our hands. We bath and groom ourselves, we clean our homes, mow our lawns, wash our cars, fill them with gas, change a tire or oil.

Thank God for hands. But more than that, we should thank God for the wisdom to use our hands for good and not evil. Aren’t we His hands and feet after all? So let’s be wise in how we use our hands day by day. And if you goof up, forgive yourself and do it right next time. Don’t beat yourself up over it. We all make mistakes. No one is perfect. Give yourself a hug and tell yourself it’s all going to be okay.

If you followed my instructions from the last post to begin the purging process, then you’ve no doubt come to understand yourself a little better. A lot of unnecessary purchases are made through emotional spending. It’s very hard to not want to make yourself feel better by not going shopping or getting a new hair style. Especially if you’ve just come out of a bad relationship. There are other ways to handle this. If you are an emotional spender, which I suspect many of us are myself included, it is smart to have a game plan in place for such times. I say game plan, but it really is more like a preventative medicine plan of action (PMPA). A way to keep yourself from taking a handful of pills to end it all or from getting yourself into massive debt.

Step 1 – Food – yes, I said it – Food. Always eat something you love, but here’s the kicker, only eat a little bit of it. Do you like pie? Eat only a small piece and not the crust. You can have ice cream, but only one scoop in a cup, not a cone.

Step 2 – Drink – Yes, I said that too.  Drink whatever you want. A glass of wine, a cocktail, iced tea, lemonade, whatever you really like. But again, only one. Just enough to get a nice little buzz going and get your happy face on.

Step 3 – Exercise – Yes, you heard me. Now get on the treadmill or go for a walk. Get those endorphins working for you. Endorphins are our friends.

More on developing your Preventative Medicine Plan of Action in a following post. Stay tuned. And don’t forget to check out my book Date Pray Wait. You can get it on Amazon.

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How To Get The Most Out Of A Date

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When preparing to go out with someone on a first time date, there are a few rules to be considered.

What rules apply here?

1. Go someplace public, yet private enough to have a conversation.

2. Dress appropriately, not seductively.

3. Talk on general topics only. It is not time to get too personal just yet.

4.  Don’t do all the talking. Make sure to listen and give equal time in sharing with each other.

5.  Respect the other person’s point of view on a matter even if they don’t agree, yet share your difference of opinion in a cordial and non-intimidating manner.

These are just a few important factors to consider when going on a first date. As time progresses and you decide to continue dating someone, then it’s time to set some safety zones in place. Be sure to do this in a non-threatening way and handle it with care. You don’t want to come across as a mother hen or a teacher. You are an equal, who only wants to set healthy boundaries at the get-go in order to prevent hurtful situations from occurring. When handled correctly, this step can make a huge difference in the quality of the relationship during the developmental stages.

How does one approach setting boundaries?

1. Sharing your personal faith in Jesus Christ is very important at this point. However, you don’t want to force your beliefs on anyone. If this is a second date, you may have covered this introductory element during your first date. Assuming you are both Christians, this should easily lead into the various levels of integrity integrated into whatever Christian belief you happen to follow according to codes of conduct and Christian morals.

2. If you are still at the point of just having fun together, then no rush. Even so, you want to share this important part of your life as soon as possible in order to protect yourself from getting too caught up in an infatuation with the other individual. Otherwise, you may suffer a sudden deflation and disappointment once your personal beliefs are disclosed.

3. Equally important, is to inquire about any sexual orientation issues both past and present. It is not fair to either party to carry on as if you are interested in a lifetime partnership when you know or suspect otherwise. Do not allow yourself to be blindsided on this one; you could end up devastated. Also, certain health issues may arise that could threaten your own personal well being and future.

4. Don’t look at a date as a possible future business transaction, while trying to make a sales pitch to close the deal. Treat each other as human beings and remember each of you has feelings; be tender and kind to one another through this sensitive time of discovery.

Now What?

Once you’ve reached this stage of understanding one another and have decided you are compatible with each other’s beliefs, morals, and other important issues, then you can move forward in the relationship with healthy boundaries in place. And vice-versa, if you have talked things through to this point of discovering that each of your ideals and morals are not equal, then you can cordially bow out of the relationship without being rude or mean to one another. In fact, you should still be able to remain friends even if on a more shallow level. That’s okay. That’s the whole purpose of dating anyway. Once you have gotten this infatuated image of this person out of your system as you see he or she doesn’t line up with your standards, you can let them go and move on with your life. There is no emotional baggage to carry over into another relationship.

For more helpful dating advice, pick up a copy of “Date, Pray, Wait” – available on this website,  Amazon.comBarnes & Noble, and in ebook formats.