Blog Archives

Let go of people who hold you back…

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If you are in a relationship that’s not working, let Madea explain this to you.

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Wrecking Ball Miley

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Miley Cyrus

What was her stylist thinking?

Does she even have a stylist? I guess it doesn’t matter since she admits her life is a wrecking ball anyway.

Thank God we do not have to live our lives like wrecking balls with the proverbial bull in a china closet syndrome. We have a God who cares about us so much. There is no need to succumb to such hideous tactics. Screaming for people to notice you isn’t really lady like. Not that Miley Cyrus even has to be lady-like in this day and age. Obviously, she and her parents don’t seem to care how she looks or comes across to other people.

“My parents are proud of me…” – Miley touted on the Late Night Show

Personally, the whole wearing the bra (or is that a bib?) over my clothes is not too appealing either. I mean, is this girl ready to eat crabs or get them?

Okay, okay … I do realize many of you love Miley’s music. She does have a great talent, and I must admit I like many of her songs, “The Climb” being one of my favorites and still brings me to tears every time I hear it. However, the reality of stardom has certainly taken its ugly toll on her life. I’m sorry to see her going through such a difficult time in her personal love life, but is she the only one? Of course not. We all have our own wrecking ball moments to get over in life. Wanting someone so badly that you can hardly see straight or breathe is part of the growing up process. I’ve been there, done that too.

“Don’t let those hormones do the walkin’ before you do the talkin'”

First things first, always keep an open line of communication in the end with your close friends and loved ones. Don’t keep them out of the loop on what’s going on in your love life until you’re at their doorstep in tears. “But it’s just so personal.” I can hear you say. “And I’m not sure who to talk to about these feelings.”  Well, guess what? You have a friend who is closer to you than any brother or sister, and His name is Jesus. He will keep you in His perfect peace when you keep your mind on Him and on things above instead of the things of this world. I know that is easier said than done. Remember, been there, done that is my motto. Jesus will keep your secrets in total confidence. You can trust Him implicitly with anything and everything. So pray (talk) to Him like He is your best friend because He is.

“You don’t have to live your life like a wrecking ball.”

For more on this and other dating advice for Christians, check out my bookDate, Pray, Wait.” Available on this site, Amazon, or request it wherever books are sold.

Duck Dynasty Reveals Treasures of “Big O”

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Duck Dynasty

Here is a great video with Jase Robertson and his wife, Missy, from Duck Dynasty

K-Love Interview with Jase & Missy Robertson

Interesting to note is the fact that Jase and Missy report to have been virgins when they married. This is very rare anymore in our society today. However, this is a great testament to God‘s faithfulness to honor those who are brave enough to follow Him in obedience. I refer to this as the “Big O” factor, which should not be confused with the more commonly known of counterpart.  

Understanding true happiness and how one experiences it is just one of the many treasures revealed in this video. 

For more on the “Big O” factor, pick up a copy of “Date, Pray, Wait,” available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and ebook formats.  

 

Taking it to the next level???

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When God gives us so much, is it right for us to expect more?

Let’s say you are finally in a long awaited relationship you’ve always dreamed of, and the time has come for both of you to take it to the next level. What does that next level really mean?

In today’s terms, it usually involves more than just second base. In fact, many young people accept the expectation of sexual activity to be a given once a relationship has reached a certain stage. However, the Bible instructs us not to conform to the ways of this world. Premarital sex should never be a pre-requisite for marital consideration. I can hear many of you laughing at this suggestion. But before you poo poo chivalry away completely, please keep in mind, I am not the one who made these rules. These are actually God’s commands to Christians. And as a Christian, you should be more than willing to follow His will over that of your own or the one you are dating.

This requires the willingness to take a risk at loosing what you thought was true love. But if this person you have grown so fond of does not respect your values, then who is he/she to tell you otherwise? In fact, you should question weather or not they have a genuine relationship with Christ at all.

So what should taking it to the next level really look like for a Christian?

A simple verbal commitment to date me exclusively was all I needed to confirm he really cared for me. It let me know he was seriously considering a future with me as his wife. Anything less than that was a total waste of my time and his, and I did not hesitate to let him know this. If he wasn’t seriously looking for a wife, then forget it. I was not going to be his booty call or a one night stand. I was not going to lower my standards only to be referred to as a good hook up either. Once that one piece of commitment was made clear, I was not afraid to open up to him at all. And a kiss or two was enjoyed as well.

Limitations are good.

Waiting to give yourself freely to the love of your life without guilt or hesitation is worth a little sacrifice in the beginning. Keeping healthy boundaries all the way through the process will only serve to enhance the experience and make the relationship more meaningful in the long run.

Remember who you are…

You are a joint heir with Christ and a child of God. You are worth the wait. Remember, the man you marry should love you even as Christ loved the church. This means, he should love you enough to be willing to die for you. I know that sounds radical, but that’s exactly the way God intended for a man to love his wife and vise-versa. A woman should love her husband enough to be willing to wait and give herself to him at the appointed time and season which God has already planned for you. Hold true to yourself and your beliefs and never feel you must compromise them one bit in order to get a guy to marry you.

To learn more about how to get a guy to marry you without sleeping with him first, pick up a copy of  “Date, Pray, Wait,” available on this site, in bookstores, online at Amazon.com and in ebook format.

Be not dismayed…

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Be not dismayed if a date never calls you again or if a long time relationship does not work out. Or perhaps a divorce is upon you now. God is ever ready to take up where that person has failed you. You’re a pretty special person to Him anyway. He doesn’t like it when one of His own gets hurt or is left feeling worthless or not good enough.

Trust me – You are way more than just good enough!

He has a special someone already picked out for you–Himself. Yes, you might say our Heavenly Father believes in arranged marriage. He pre-arranges everything and orchestrates our lives right down to the smallest detail. If we choose to follow Him, listen to Him, and move in the direction we sense Him drawing us, then we will be right in line with His will and His way. Pray for God to order your steps in the way He wants you to go and to give you those divine encounters that only He can bring to pass. You might just be amazed at who you meet and where; sometimes in the most unexpected places.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5, NIV

For those of you who are struggling through a divorce or a break up, it’s time now to allow Christ to be your Knight in shining armor. He’s ready to sweep you off your feet and carry you away on His steed of righteousness.

The key is to “Remain in Him.”

For more about how to make Christ your Knight in shining armor, you can purchase a copy of “Date, Pray, Wait” available now on Amazon.com and this website.

And on a date she shall go …

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Are you finally back in the swing of dating again after a long hiatus?  Say you recently went through a very trying divorce and have finally reached recovery mode. All the same, you are hesitant to jump back into a relationship and understandably so. Who knows what wolves in sheep’s clothing might be lurking about in the scary forest of betrayal?  But, Little Red Riding Hood doesn’t have to go it alone. No! She can and should have an armory hidden inside her basket of goodies ready to blast away any lurching enemies.

And I’m not just talking about condoms or birth control here, Ladies and gentlemen. Although I am not blinded to the fact that many Christian women and men who are dating do engage in pre-marital sex. This is no secret by clergy either. However, keep in mind that if you do involve yourself physically with someone in a “Hook Up” relationship, you are at risk not only of STD’s but of spiritual separation from God. Is this kind of dangerous behavior really worth it?

The armory I speak of is more of the spiritual kind. Arming yourself with the Word of God, the breast plate of righteousness, and the sword of the Spirit will keep your heart and mind in a safe place. That’s not to say the person you go out with will be doing or thinking the same way. Hopefully, you will be dating other Christian people who have like-minded ideology such as yourself. But, there are those few exceptions when people whom you think are one way turn out to be another way entirely. They have arterial motives which catch you off guard.

Be not afraid. God always provides a way of escape. It is wise to have a backup plan in place for this very reason. Mace or pepper spray is helpful, but even better, prayer. Also, always have your cell phone handy to make a 911 call, or if things are not exactly at that kind of emergency level though they might be for you, at least have a trusted friend on call to come get you or money for cab fare.

Another issue that could arise might involve exposing too much too soon about yourself to another person who may not be ready for it yet. A date is supposed to be light and fun. You’ve had too much heavy laden problems weighing you down so allow yourself to enjoy life again. I give you permission, if that is what you need.

Sometimes you just need to go with the flow and let hope float again. 

Enjoy dating and remember when you honor God in obedience, you honor yourself.

For more information on dating, download or buy a copy of  “Date, Pray, Wait.”  Available on this website, Amazon, Nook, and on the author website at http://londahayden.com.

My Interview with Darien Martin for Radio Show

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I want to thank Darien Martin for hosting me on his radio show “It’s All About You” about my book “Date, Pray, Wait.”  Darien was very receptive and gracious. You can listen in on the interview by clicking on the link provided below.

Radio interview with Darius Martin on “It’s All About You”

 

 

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